Dirt Eater - Cretin

Everyday you’ll find her out there

Crouched down on her knees

Rain or shine she spends some time

Yet her yard is full of weeds

One day while watching from my window

And much to my surprise

I found out her dirty secret

She tried so hard to hide

Normal by all appearances

No one would suspect

The nice old woman from next door

Is a filthy wretch

She fingers through the soil

And she picks the pebbles out

Then scoops up a spoonful

And pops it in her mouth

Consuming clumps of earth

She gobbles clots of dirt

The grit and grime she eats

Gets caught between her teeth

Scarfing scum and mulch and muck

A frantic feasting binge

She stuffs her withered cheeks so full

Mud dribbles down her chin

She shovels gravel in her face

And swallows every bit

I’ll bet you that it hurts like hell

When she takes a shit

Consuming clumps of earth

She gobbles clots of dirt

The grit and grime she eats

Gets caught between her teeth