X-M@$ - Corey Taylor

Ho Ho Ho Ho!

There aint nothing more depressing than a pine tree

Gussied up candy canes and balls

Those carolers have kept me up for hours

Its Merry Christmas seeping through my walls

Now Im no wiccan commie or nothing

But theres one damn holiday that I cant stand

It aint Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools

But itll surely make a fool out of every man

HA

If I aint drunk then it aint Christmas

You know where to stick those jingle bells

If I aint hammered it aint hanukkah

And all you motherfuckers go to hell

If I aint cockeyed then it Kwanzaa

Joy to the world and jack and coke

If I aint drunk then it aint Christmas

Cause I never anything but broke

Now every year the malls are just a madhouse

Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles

Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit

And those colored lights are f*cking infantile

I think we collectively as the people

Should rise against this corporate jolly noise

And tell the world:

Lets buy some piece and quiet for a change

Before we spend it all on f*cking toys

HA

So if I aint drunk then it aint Christmas

You know where to stick those jingle bells

If I aint hammered it aint hanukkah

Fa la la la la go f*ck yourself!

If I aint cockeyed it aint Kwanzaa

Joy to the world of getting stoned

If I aint drunk then it aint Christmas

So leave this god damn scrooge the f*ck alone

HA

Merry F*ckin' Christmas!