The War That Followed Me Home - Convictions

I break down

My mind awakes in the wake of hysteria

It’s happening again

I see your face in the place where I rest my head

I only sleep with my eyes wide open

I blame myself

I shame myself

Death from the front lines showing up on my front doorstep

You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving

Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat

I’m just a living casualty

I thought I left the fight behind back overseas

And maybe I’m denied a full recovery

I’ve gone M.I.A

I’ll never find me

I can’t escape the flashbacks

We attacked

They shot back

The skies turned black

I watched my friend take his last breath

I set aside my humanity

How can I feel when I’ve been trained for apathy?

I put my life on the line

At what cost?

My first kill became the death of me

Death of me!

Forget everything you’ve known and come to believe

Stripped down and torn apart

Replace the heart, you are a machine

Somewhere I know there’s a soul trapped in between

Death from the front lines showing up on my front doorstep

You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving

Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat

I’m just a living casualty

I thought I left the fight behind back overseas

And maybe I’m denied a full recovery

I’ve gone M.I.A

I’ll never find me

Where do I go from here when the smoke clears and the bodies appear?

No time for fear as death rains from the air

My knees collapse and I brace for the impact

The bloodshed that never ends, the echo that runs through my head

It’s a war that followed me home

It’s a war that followed me home

It’s a war that followed me home!

You’ll never know the guilt I felt from surviving

Or know the love and loss that’s always on repeat

I’m just a living casualty

I thought I left the fight behind back overseas

And maybe I’m denied a full recovery

I’ve gone M.I.A

I’ll never find me