The 12 Days of Quarantine - Chris Mann

On the first day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

The virus COVID-19

On the second day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19

On the third day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

No more friends

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19

On the fourth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Hoarding tendencies

No more friends

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19

On the fifth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Remote learning

Hoarding tendencies

No more friends

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19

On the sixth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Murder hornets

Remote learning

Hoarding tendencies

No more friends

My kids won’t find me under the bed

And the virus COVID-19

On the seventh day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Doubt in my marriage

Murder hornets

Home schooling hell

Hoarding tendencies

No more friends

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19 (oh my God)

On the eighth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

Panic disorders

I haven’t talked to my wife since Tuesday

Murder hornets

Remote learning (kill me)

(I just bought seven hundred cans of soup)

Hoarding tendencies

No more friends

Just talk to myself all day

And the virus COVID-19

On the ninth day of quarantine this lockdown year gave me

My new love handles

Panic disorders

Doubt in my marriage

Murder hornets

IPad learning

(I mean really, how much am I paying for this?)

Hoarding tendencies (hoard all that toilet paper)

Friends, what are they?

Blue rubber gloves (I think I’m allergic to latex)

And the virus COVID-19 (is it over yet?)

On the tenth day of quarantine this messed up year gave me

Doctor Fauci

My clothes don’t fit anymore

Panic disorders

My therapist says this is normal

Murder hornets

Remote learning (make it stop)

Hoarding tendencies

(Does anyone wanna hang out? I’ll wear a mask)

Stupid rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19 (whatever I hate you)

On the whatever day of quarantine this messed up year gave me

Doctor Fauci

My new fat handles

(Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands)

Doubt in my marriage (everything's fine except)

Murder hornets

Remote learning (oh my God)

Hoarding tendencies

(Nope, I don’t know any friends)

Blue rubber gloves

And the virus COVID-19

On the twelfth day of quarantine this fucked-up year gave me

A week-long election

Kerry and Megan moved to Canada?

Anthony Fauci

I just can’t stop eating, I’m freaking out

My wife may leave me

Is that murder hornet or a wasp?

How the hell am I supposed to work

(Remote leaning)

And teach my kids at the same time?

Oh my God

Reuse that toilet paper

I miss my friends

My hands are so sweaty

And the virus COVID-19