I make a date for golf

And you can bet your life it rains

I try to throw a party

And the guy upstairs complains

I guess I’ll go through life

Just catching colds and missing trains

Everything happens to me

I never miss a thing

I’ve had the measles and the mumps

And every time I play an ace

My partner always trumps

I guess I’m just a fool

Who never looks before he jumps

Everything happens to me

At first I thought that you could break this jinx for me

That love would turn the trick to end despair

Now I just can’t fool this head that thinks for me

I’ve mortgaged all my castles in the air

I’ve telegraphed and phoned

And sent an airmail special too

Your answer was goodbye

And there was even postage due

I fell in love just once

It had to be with you

Everything happens to me

Everything happens to me