Lifesick - Canvas

Was I always this way?

Feeling half-mast trying to remember

I must forget the feelings that last

First thing when I wake up that

Repeats on my mind like old photographs

Begins with everyone I love

But only ends with myself

Because I pulled them in close before I let them all go

Pushed them to the side and struggled on with life

Pretending when I see them that everything’s fine but I’m not okay

I’m so sick of these lies

I’m so tired

Believe me I’ve tried

But I’m giving up on living

How long till it’s my time?

Where’s your life heading?

Where’s your life heading?

Where’s your life heading?

Where’s your life heading?

I know you don’t mean it condescending

I want to reply my life’s descending

Instead of pausing and pretending then defending my intentions

Masked by small talk to change the direction

And it will end with a smile and no detection

Just faked friendly affection

I’m so sorry I let you down

Apologies won’t change who I am