A Square in a Social Circle - Betty Hutton

When I was young I found it grim

To gurgle in the social swim

The do’s and dont’s and loddy-da's

To me were just a lot of blah

I used my silver spoon at birth

For throwing meatballs at my nurse

I always chose to thumb my nose

At smarty clothes and party pose

I’ve ditched the rich and sable set

To join the kitchen table set

But much to my regret

I can’t mingle with the social set

I used the wrong fork at the Stork in New York

My manners ain’t fit for a goop

I’m just a square in the social circle

Who put that fly in my soup?

I’d rather go out with a lout to a bout

Than sleep in a symphony hall

I’m just a square in the social circle

Who knocked my gum off that wall?

When the utterly utter flows like butter

I want to start pitching a curve

With a silly old blighter on a first nighter

I feel like a pickled hors d’oeuvres, no verve

I never felt gay in a fancy beret

Or wear a babushka or burse

I’m just a square in the social circle

Finger bowls irk me the worst

They just don’t quench my thirst

Mrs. Vanderpuss with greet me

With a fourteen karat shout

«My dear, you’ve simply got to come

To my daughter’s coming out»

Her daughter is a Frankenstein

A dracula in mink

When she comes out each stag will shout

«Gadzooks, I need a drink»

I’d dined and clubbed

I’ve elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne

'Foo' to you bud, take your blue blood

And stick it in your fountain pen

I wanna brush all the blush in the gush

I’d rather get left than be right

I’m just a square in the social circle

Anyone here wanna fight?

None of me fits with the wits at the Ritz

I’d rather relax on a stool

I’m just a square in the social circle

Anyone wanna shoot pool?

When a cookie with cabbage gets too savage

I’ll wrestle him three out of four

I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer

And show me his nautical lore

Why sure

The ladies in frills only fill me with chills

They’re soft as a ball of chenille

I’m just a square in the social circle

I’ve got a muscle of steel

Anyone here want to feel?

I’m as square as a pear in a boutonniere

Fancy silk won’t stay on

I’m designed for rayon

But I just don’t seem to care

I’m a square