life - awakebutstillinbed

I couldn’t get my life back

I couldn’t get my life back, I couldn’t save myself

All the words of my mother hang heavy over me

It’s summer in Texas, 2003

I dissociate, the world around me fades

There is no self if there is no one else

So I isolate and suppress discomfort

And I sacrifice any shred of my own self-worth

While I put so much faith in my open eyes

I have never felt so lonely and desperate

I couldn’t get my life back

I couldn’t get my life back, I didn’t stand a chance

All the pain within my past weighs heavy on my heart

The euphoria won’t last, it’ll tear your life apart

I feel the same;

the world around me changed

It is a mess, and I could not make sense

Of this brave new world I navigate alone

Or my hyper-vulnerability I now call home

'Cause I put so much trust in their shifting words

And I have never felt so stupid and useless before

But it is all my fault

I never should have trusted them

It’s easy to smile and wave, to tell them one thing to their face

It’s hard to tell the truth

Yeah, it is all my fault

But how could I have known that

What people call low self-esteem is really just seeing yourself

The way other people see you?

I couldn’t get my life back

I couldn’t get my life back

I couldn’t get my life back

I couldn’t get my life back