Mr. Mistoffelees - Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Cats" 1981 Original London Cast, Wayne Sleep

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!

The original conjuring cat

(There can be no doubt about that)

Please, listen to me, and don’t scoff.

All his Inventions are off his own bat.

The greatest magicians have something to learn

From Mister Mistoffelees' conjuring turn

And we’ll all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

He is quiet, he is small, he is black

From the ears to the tip of his tail

He can creep through the tiniest crack

He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack

He is equally cunning with dice

He is always deceiving you into believing

That he’s only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste

If you look for a knife or a fork

And you think it is merely misplaced

You have seen it one moment and then it’s gone!

But you find it next week lying on the lawn

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Well!

My manner is vague and aloof

You would think there was nobody shyer

But voice has been heard on the roof

When I was curled up by the fire

And I’ve sometimes been heard by the fire

When I was about on the roof

At least they all heard that somebody purred

Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers

And I’ve known the family to call me in from the garden for hours

While I was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And not long ago this phenomenal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh!

Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees