Next to Me - Alan Cumming

Sometimes I hear your whistle

As I walk the dogs across the skateboard park

And though I know you’ve gone uptown

I look for you in every doorway on St Mark’s

'Cause even though I’m not a canine

And my bark is usually benign

Whatever I’m sniffin', I’ll drop and come runnin' for you

I once said that «I'm not an alcoholic

There’s just always something to be celebrated»

Well true to form I’m pretty woozy this morning

'Cause last night I was inebriated!

You’re next to me

So everything must be alright

You’re next to me

So I must have made it home last night

It can’t have been too mortifyin'

Though I do remember tryin'

A handstand against a mirrored wall

But oh, I love you, let me

And didn’t then forget me

But took me home

So tell me, did I fall?

You’re next to me

So nothing really matters anyway

You’re next to me

And I feel like I’m on my holidays

And I mean that the British way

Like lyin' on a beach sippin' fruity alcohol

Not the American way

Which involves religion and is absolutely no fun at all

Not that I mean to demean your lovely nation

After all, it made you, and you’re a sensation

The jubilation of our present situation

Could make me lose the urge for any form of masturbation

It’s sensational!

That you are next to me

So everything must be alright

You are next to me

So I must have made it home last night

You are next to me

So nothing really matters anyway

You are next to me

And I feel like I’m on my holidays

I’m amazed that you are next to me