If My Friends Could See Me Now - Richard Adler, Jerry Bock, Cy Coleman

If they could see me now

That little gang of mine

I’m eating fancy chow

And drinking fancy wine

I’d like those stumblebums

To see for a fact

The kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums

I attract

All I can say is «Wow,"'

Hey, look at where I am

Tonight I landed, pow!

Right in a pot of jam

What a setup!

Holy cow!

They’d never believe it

If my friends could see me now

(dance break)

If they could see me now

My little dusty group

Traipsing around this

Million-dollar chicken coop

I’d hear those thrift-shop cats

Say «Brother, get her!

Laid on a bed spread made from

Three kinds of fur!»

All I can say is «Wow»

Wait till the riff and raff

See just exactly how

He’d sign his autograph

What a build-up!

Holy cow!

They’d never believe it

If my friends could see me now

If they could see me now

Alone with Mister V

Who’s waiting on me

Like he was a maitre d'

I’d hear my buddies sayin'

«Crazy what gives?

Tonight she’s livin'

Like the other half lives!»

To think the highest brow

Which I must say is he

Should pick the lowest brow

Which there’s no doubt is me

What a step up!

Holy cow!

They’d never believe it

They’d never believe it

If my friends could see me now

(spoken)

Hi girls!

Look, it’s me, Charity!