But I'm Just Thirteen - Barry Louis Polisar

Mom came home from the store last night

With groceries in her left arm and groceries in her right

She asked me why I’d left the door unlocked

And why I was walking 'round in my socks

Why the dog was sleeping on my nice clean bed

Why I hadn’t done a single thing she’d said

Why the ice cream had melted on the kitchen stove

Why I didn’t let the dog out when he had to go

Why my friends were over for cookies and milk

Why the cookies were gone and the milk was spilt

Why the goldfish were missing and the cat looked fed

And who was doing jumping jacks in her bed?

Then with groceries in hand, she went through the door

Didn’t see my roller skates lying on the floor

She started to fall, her face turned green

And me, I said, «but I’m just thirteen.»

There was grape juice on the ceiling and splattered on the floor

Were the peanuts and the pickles and all across the door

Were the mustard and the mayonnaise and watermelon, too

The jelly and the jiffy pop, all sorts of gook and goo;

Like cookies on the cabinets and raisins on the rug

And melted 'cross the tablecloth, a box of chocolate fudge

Molasses on the light switch, syrup on the sink

Honey on the hot dogs, something sure did stink

Then doggie grabbed the hamburger and kitty grabbed the steak

And running out the open door, they ate and ate and ate

Mom, she started yelling, you should have heard her scream

And me, I said, «But I’m just thirteen.»

Mom made me clean up all the mess I said I didn’t do

But I cleaned it all anyway, just like she told me to

I piled garbage five feet high, can’t say I didn’t try

In garbage cans and boxes and bags up to the sky

When Dad came home from work, he was tired as can be

I guess he was so tired, 'Cause Daddy didn’t see

The garbage I had piled and the work that was so hard;

'Cause when he hit 'em, they just splattered all across the yard

Dad of course exploded like a pot that popped it’s lid

He yelled at me and said, «Now, look what you just did.»

There was garbage in the driveway, garbage on the ground

Garbage on my Daddy, garbage all around

Garbage on the window, garbage on the screen

And me I said, «But I’m Just thirteen.»